THE MYSTICS GOT PUNCHED IN THE MOUTH… AND SWUNG BACK WITH A DAMN HAYMAKER

The Mystics got elbowed in the mouth… and socked Vegas right in the soul.

The Las Vegas Aces came to Washington thinking they’d snag an easy one. Instead, they left with a loss, a bruised ego, and at least one of Jade Melbourne’s teeth.

First quarter: Chelsea Gray tries to close out, accidentally elbows Jade Melbourne in the face. One tooth gone. Melbourne exits. Flagrant foul called. What did the Mystics do?

They turned it into a damn street fight.

D.C. came out of that timeout like every player lost a molar and wanted payback. No Brittney Sykes? Didn’t matter. Jade down? Even better. This wasn’t basketball — it was dental surgery with a shot clock.

By the third quarter, the Mystics were up 20. Becky Hammon pulled her starters like she was surrendering a dodgeball game. The Aces cut it to 7, but Washington never blinked. They got hit with the first punch, lost a few teeth, and somehow still came out grinning.

The crowd? Playoff loud. Bar fight gritty. Tooth Fairy cinematic universe.

Final score: Mystics 94, Aces 83.

The Aces comeback effort? It got stuffed like a mouthguard.

A’JA WILSON TRIED TO END IT EARLY — AND THEN TRIED TO SAVE IT LATE

A’ja Wilson did everything short of pulling the fire alarm.

Wilson the reigning MVP dropped 22 points on 8-of-18 shooting, blocked everything moving (4 blocked shots) and lived at the free throw line like it paid rent. Her fourth quarter had Player of the Year energy written all over it — again.

But even A’ja’s late-game Super Saiyan mode couldn’t stop the Mystics’ tooth-fueled rampage.

Becky Hammon tried it all — starters, bench units, maybe even a silent prayer to the refs — but D.C. just kept snapping necks and skipping away.

“Start to finish, we lost every quarter but that fourth….
“No togetherness, honestly” said chelsea gray.

The only real spark? The bench for the Aces.

Becky let them ride to start the fourth — and for a second, it almost worked.

“We gotta come in and give them a boost… be a spark.” Dana Evans said.

Translation: The starters got smacked, and the bench showed up with a fire extinguisher and a dream.

But the hole was too deep.

SHAKIRA AUSTIN & THE ROOKIE MOB JUST JUMPED THE ACES

Let’s get this straight: Shakira Austin leads the Mystics in PER and still gets treated like a role player in national convos, which is mind boggling.

Austin a young and blossoming center in the WNBA, just gave A’ja fits on both ends on the floor, dropping a big double double. Austin finished the game against Las Vegas going off for 13 points, 13 rebounds, 3 assists. Austin controlled the boards like a rental car security deposit.

She’s strong, switchable, and plays like she lifts refrigerators for cardio.

“Too many breakdowns,” Becky Hammon said. “It’s one person this time, another the next.”

Yeah — meanwhile, Austin was breaking Vegas’ entire spine.

And her partner in crime? Kiki Iriafen. Rookie. Just casually posted 12 points, 9 boards, and has the second-best PER on the team. Like it’s nothing.

Then there’s Sonia Citron, who dominated this contest for Washington. 21 points on 3-of-4 from deep, hitting shots like she’s been haunting the Aces since 2019.

Played like the moment was beneath her.

And when Vegas cut it to single digits?

Lucy Olsen stepped up with the dagger three at the 3:21 mark — then grinned like a vampire on prom night. Olsen in her reserve minutes for Melbourne finished with a career high. Olsen scored 14 points in 37 minutes off the bench, and looked like she’s poised to become a starting guard in the WNBA.

Oh, and the Mystics?

They average 5.5 made threes per game. Against the champs? 10-for-19. They literally doubled their season average just to humiliate Vegas.

This wasn’t depth.This was a rookie-led gang initiation. And the Aces? They were just the unlucky bystanders.

THE TOOTH FAIRY LEFT A VICTORY UNDER D.C.’S PILLOW

The Aces got punked by a team missing its best scorer and its international energizer.

Washington: walked into Mandalay Bay, played with eight real bodies. Lost one to dental disaster and still dominated wire to wire.

 

“No easy games in this league,” Hammon said. “Too much talent. That’s why we’re expanding by two more teams.”

Translation? You can’t sleep on rookies, backups, or the angry ghost of Jade Melbourne’s front tooth.

Meanwhile, the Mystics improve to 8–8. Third straight win. The Aces fall to 7–8 and it’s looking like it’s time to hit the panic button, maybe?

Tooth count: -1.