Miami Dolphins  RUN DEFENSE SPONSORED BY TEMPUR-PEDIC

The Miami Dolphins run defense should come with a Tempur-Pedic mattress tag. Soft, over-priced, and guaranteed to give up yards per carry.

The Dolphins defense didn’t just get gashed Sunday — they got massaged into oblivion.

Rico Dowdle — a man so random your fantasy app spelled his name wrong, a backup running back with a cramp sponsorship, ran through Miami like he was late for brunch. Two hundred and six yards later, the Panthers had erased a 17-0 deficit, Mike McDaniel was out here giving TED Talks about accountability, and Bradley Chubb basically called his own unit soft.

“We got comfortable,” Chubb said. “That’s not winning defense.”

Buddy, that’s not even defense.

That’s a mattress commercial.

“Outgained by 200 Yards” — Straight from the Coach’s Mouth

McDaniel’s postgame presser was less coaching and more confession:

“I think we were out-gained by 200 yards in the run game. You’ll rarely win — if ever.”

Rarely? Try never.

You would think this is a typo but it’s not. The Panthers dismantled Miami from the line of scrimmage by rushing for 237 yards to Miami’s 19.

It is a legitimate cry for help. Miami’s front seven played like they all had brunch reservations in Charlotte.

At one point, Dowdle cramped in both calves and still finished the game. He was limping, hydrating, and still breaking tackles like he was running from rent.

You can’t call it tackling if the other guy keeps running. Miami’s linebackers hit Dowdle like they were trying to tap “Agree” on a software update. The Panthers averaged almost 7 yards per carry — with three offensive linemen hurt.

Meanwhile, Miami’s supposed defensive identity was out there doing interpretive dance. Every drive felt like a trust fall without a catcher.

Chubb said it best — they’ve been saying “stop the run” for weeks but treating it like a vibe, not a job description.

The Collapse Curriculum

Want to know a blueprint for how to lose a winnable game? Read below.

Jump out 17-0.

Forget football requires second-half participation.

Give up 200+ rushing yards.

Punt on 4th down with 1:10 left like it’s still preseason.

Tua did his part early — three TD passes and decent protection.

The problem was the offense clocked out and then the defense watched. Funny enough, the Dolphins made Bryce Young look like he was at Alabama again.

“No One Cares About Our Feelings”

McDaniel said it himself:

“No one cares about our feelings.”

Good. Because Miami fans have enough of their own. The run defense has turned Sundays into therapy sessions.

And here’s the thing — this wasn’t about Tyreek Hill being hurt. It wasn’t about travel, or crowd noise, or vibes. It was about effort, alignment, and basic physics. Carolina brought violence. Miami brought lavender-scented candles.

Bring the Pads, Not the Pillows

Everyone on the defense is playing  Punch-Out! They are trying to get fumbles rather than lay wood.

One person goes for the strip, one guy half-tackles. Meanwhile, the rest of the defense are auditioning for Dancing with the Stars.

Somebody’s got to make the tackle.

You can’t live off almost turnovers. You either take the ball or you take the man. Right now, we’re taking neither.

At 1-4, the Dolphins have two choices: keep hosting a weekly sleepover for opposing running backs, or wake up. The Chargers are next — and they can run, too.

Bradley Chubb’s is absoutely right because it is time for everyone to look in the mirror.

Just make sure it’s not mounted above a Tempur-Pedic.