The Florida Panthers Are 3-4-0 & My Liver’s 0-for-7

THE FLORIDA PANTHERS HAVE LOST FOUR STRAIGHT — AND I STILL MIGHT BUY ANOTHER STANLEY CUP SHIRT

Honestly, if the Panthers never win another game, I’d still be encouraged — because they’ve already done so much.

Keep it in perspective because talking about the same franchise that used to give away free lower-bowl tickets with a purchase of Marathon coffee. Now the Pathers have people in South Florida wearing hoodies in 85-degree weather, (and booty shorts inside of hockey stadiums) yelling about line changes.

That’s progress.

You wanna talk about a hockey town?

The Florida Panthers have half of Broward wearing long sleeves and the other half in flip-flops inside the same damn arena. People don’t even know how to react.

And look, the marketing still ain’t hitting — I’d bet half the city doesn’t even realize they’re the defending Stanley Cup champions — but who cares? We’re good.

Or at least, we were.

Because in the great words of Kashimo Hajime, “That’s how losers think.”

And right now? The vibes are loser-adjacent.

Four Straight L’s & an Existential Crisis, The Casualty Report (A.K.A. Everyone’s Hurt)

The Panthers have lost four straight games, the latest being a 3-0 shutout in Buffalo where Alex Lyon, yes our former backup, turned into Dominik Hasek for three hours.

The Cats fired 101 shots over the four-game trip, scored four goals, and went 0-for-7 on the power play against Buffalo.

It’s giving early-season hangover energy.

“I’d like to see more urgency, a little more assertiveness,” Sam Reinhart said after the loss. “When it’s not going your way, you start deferring instead of taking the bull by the horns.”

Translation: we’re playing like we already have parade hangovers.

Coach Paul Maurice didn’t sugarcoat it either.

“None of our injuries are coming back, so this is our team,” he said. “We’ve got to be a little tighter in all areas, a little heavier around the net.”

That’s hockey-speak for figure it out, boys.

No Barkov, no Tkachuk, no Tomas Nosek, no Dmitry Kulikov — and now Niko Mikkola left Saturday’s game with an upper-body injury.

If this was a war movie, half the locker room would be wearing shoulder slings and eating through straws.

The Panthers are running on duct tape, vibes, and pure heart (Zelda would be proud) and yet, they still sit 3-4-0, with the same number of points they had at this stage last year.

So, like….chill…

…we’ve been here before.

Perspective, People

No s**t, the Panthers would rather be winning these games.

Are we anywhere near panic mode? Not even close.

Two years ago, they started 4-3. Last year, 3-2-1 without Barkov or Tkachuk.

This team literally went from “mid-season slump” to “Stanley Cup parade” in less than six months. If history tells us anything, it’s that the Panthers don’t peak in October — they just stretch before the violence starts.

Plus, remember this:

Every empire hits turbulence. The NHL had Montreal in the 70s, the Islanders and Oilers in the 80s, the Blackhawks in the 2010s — all eventually fell apart.

But this? This doesn’t feel like the fall of Rome. It feels like Rome’s just hungover.

The Panthers will be fine.

They’ve got the talent, the coaching, the swagger, and the city’s love — even if Miami still can’t pronounce hockey without sounding confused.

So yeah, four straight L’s. Big deal.

We’ll figure it out.

We always do.

And when that next winning streak hits?

I’ll be the guy in section 118 — shorts on, beer in hand — screaming “Run it back” like nothing ever happened.