TYREEK HILL JUST ANNOUNCED HE’S A DJ — BECAUSE MIAMI DOESN’T BELIEVE IN NORMAL

 THE INJURY THAT SPAWNED A SUPERSTAR DJ

Tyreek Hill tore half the ligaments in his leg and instead of sitting quietly in a rehab chair, this man looked at his knee brace like, “Yeah, I can probably drop a set at E11EVEN with this.”

DJ Cheetah is officially in the building — and he’ll be spinning like he’s still breaking ankles on a slant route.

Week 4 against the Jets: Hill’s knee folded like a bad lawn chair. Dolphins fans clutched their beers and prayed to Dan Marino’s ghost. Torn ligaments. Dislocation. Season over.

Doctors: “You’ll need surgery and months of recovery.”

Tyreek: “Bet. Where’s the nearest Pioneer turntable?”

Fast-forward a few weeks, and instead of watching film, he’s posting on X:

“COMING TO PLAY HOUSE MUSIC NEAR YOU 😊.”

That’s not rehab talk — that’s South Beach bottle-service energy.

While the Dolphins are limping through game film, Hill’s out here figuring out how to mix Calvin Harris into Kodak Black. Drew Rosenhaus is trying to talk roster bonuses, and Tyreek’s like, “Sorry bro, I’m mid-drop.”

FROM HARD ROCK TO HARD DROPS

His stage name? DJ Cheetah.

Because of course it is. The only human fast enough to drop a beat and chase it down himself.

Miami’s club scene doesn’t even know what’s coming. By summer, it’s gonna be half “We ready for Week 1” and half “Put your hands up for DJ CHEETAH!”

People are already DM’ing him like, “Yo bro, you free for my cousin’s quinceañera?” No, he’s not. He’s probably spinning at LIV wearing a compression sleeve.

Tyreek’s been hinting at retirement, but this might be his soft launch. He’s traded playbooks for playlists, defensive reads for BPMs.

11,000 yards. 83 touchdowns. One wild pivot into nightlife.

From NFL All-Pro to EDM All-Night.

Only in Miami could your star receiver blow out his knee and come back with a residency.

If the league has to wait — the club sure as hell won’t. Catch him on SoundCloud or the injury report. Either way, he’s going platinum.