Miami Didn’t Just Beat Pitt, They Filed a Playoff Restraining Order on the Entire ACC

Bro. BRO. There are statement wins… and then there’s whatever the hell Miami just did to Pitt in 38-degree weather off the Three Rivers like they were filming “Frozen 4: Canes Revenge.”

They said “oh Miami can’t string together w innig streak in nOvember,. Oh Miami can’t win in the cold. Well guess f**king what we did both and then we arguably ,and shoudl’ve just punched our damn ticket into the Colleg Football Playoff with the ass whooping we gave Pitt.

This was close for about 20 minutes of real time and about 10 minutes of gmae time and then Miami did what this Miami team does, beat the brakes off most of these weak a** opponents.

From kickoff to the last sad Pitt punt, Miami didn’t just dominate, they flexed like a team that’s sick of being told to “wait your turn” in the ACC title line. Sick of being disrespected. Sick of being treated like the success story that’s “cute, but not that deep.”

No. The Canes walked into Acrisure Stadium with one mission:

Kick down the door. Keep the playoff dream alive. Make the committee uncomfortable.

And guess who’s feeling real uncomfortable? They want to f**k with us because we beat Notre Dame but still have them ranked ahead f**k it because now everyone elsee is about to get the ass whooping that the higher ranked seeds deserves. ff we get a lower seed and grind it out, we’re good.

Just make sure we’re on the other side of the bracket because we want that rematch vs. Ohio State in the national championship. We need that.

Miami 38, Pitt 7.

Ten wins. Again.

35 unanswered points.

And a whole bunch of people sweating in Greensboro and Charlotte right now.

The wildest part? This wasn’t some December miracle. This is who Miami has been all season.

Fast. Violent. Creative. Resilient.

A team that can throw it, run it, trick-play it, and bully you in your own stadium.

A team that’s built for a playoff, Mario Cristobal’s words, not mine, but honestly? He undersold it.

Malachi Toney Is Already the Best Freshman in America, Go Argue With a Wall

Quite frankly if you haven’t been watching The Malachi Toney show, then you must be living under a rock because at this point his game iss getting disrespectful at this point.

Yeah from a reeive standppiint Toney is dominating your faavorite cornerbacks and making them look as foolish as someone ordering a glass of milk from a bar top.

      13 catches.

      126 yards.

      A receiving TD.

 

I know it was a question that was really different than the answer was supposed to give you. But you know what I mean? Yeah, you know the hot hand, right? When the hand is hot, you got to get it to him” said Mario Cristobal.

Keep in mind, that the might as well be Antwaan Randle El but the much better version of him though (actually the two are only comparable in the fact they are triple threats) because he’s been on his shit when it comes to completing touchdown passes and getting touchdowns in any way or fashion he can get them.

Toney threw yet another passing TD, and had  30 rushing yards, all while breaking the school’s freshman receiving record.

He broke Ahmmon Richards’ nine-year mark like it was a piñata.

Miami doesn’t get freshmen, true freshmen, who dominate like this. Miami gets freshmen who “show flashes.”

This dude is the flash.

He’s the offense’s thermostat. You feed him, the temperature rises. You bracket him, he moves. You punch him, he punches back.

And the cold? Didn’t even register.

Carson Beck Played Like He Wants the CFP Smoke

Carson Beck….bro you gotta get this shit togeher.

Beck threw an another interception, which is adorable, because everything else he did today wiped that moment from existence.

23-of-29.

267 yards.

3 TDs.

Looking like a man who wants to ruin an SEC’s committee party. But more looking like Kirk Cousins second cousin, if not younger brother. Carson Cousins Jr has got to clean up his game but the good news is that he threw touchdowns to CJ Daniels, CharMar Brown, and Malachi Toney.

He made NFL throws in freezing wind the committee swears Miami can’t handle.

He made Pittsburgh’s defense look like an undercooked plate of Primanti fries.

Pitt had 30 rushing yards. Total.

Most of those came on accident.

Rueben Bain and Ahmad Moten were in the backfield so often they should’ve been charged rent. Wesley Bissainthe flew sideline-to-sideline like he was in fast-forward. Jakobe Thomas was hitting people like he had a bonus tied to concussions created.

Pitt players were looking around like, “Wait… Miami came up here and played like this IN THE COLD??”

Yes.
And they enjoyed it.

The Canes Fell Behind 7–3… Then Scored the Final 35 Points Like a Team With Somewhere Expensive to Be

Once Miami stopped playing around?

      Touchdown.

      Touchdown.

      Touchdown.

      Touchdown.

      Touchdown.

Five straight scoring drives.

A chokehold defensive performance.

A crowd that went from rowdy to silent to “please run the clock” in under 90 minutes.

This didn’t feel like a ranked matchup.

It felt like Miami announcing:

 

“Hey CFP, stop being weird and put us where we belong.”

Built for Speed, Pain, Cold & The Playoffs.

Let’s be real…

Miami just put the entire conference on notice.

This is not the 8-4 disappointment version of Miami.

This is not the “maybe next year” Miami.

This is a team with:

      A quarterback peaking in November

      A WR1 freshman playing like a Bolitnikoff finalist

      A defense that eats rushing attacks for breakfast

      A roster finally healthy

      Mario Cristobal politicking in postgame interviews like a senator who smelled votes

This is a title-game-ready Miami.

And if the ACC still chooses violence and leaves them out?

Boy.

Committee.

Conference.

Somebody’s gonna have a lot to answer for.

“I mean, at the end of the day, it’s not only do we pass the eye test, we pass the field test, right? Especially as it relates to playing this brand of football down the stretch and in head-to-head competition versus others that are being judged in the same little pool that we are as well. Plus, we’re getting healthy. No one ever talked about, you know, the value of that in the middle of the season when we got banged up, with six, seven starters going down, and now we’re almost all the way back” said Cristobal.

Dear Ohio State, count Your Days

Because if the universe does what it should…

If the football dogs stop trolling…

If Miami gets into the ACC Championship and punches their ticket…

Ohio State, we’re coming to whoop your ass soon.

Enjoy your calm.

Enjoy your rankings.

Enjoy the analysts pretending you’re invincible.

The storm is building in Coral Gables.

And today in Pittsburgh?

You saw the first lightning strike.