THE DOLPHINS ARE DELUSIONALLY AWESOME

Fins Nation, I need everyone to rise for the National Anthem of Delusion, because the Miami Dolphins, yes, the same Dolphins who were 2–7 and had us googling “When is the next Fire Grier flag going to get raised? and “What draft pick do we need to get Fernando Mendoza?” — are somehow, miraculously, stupidly alive.

This team should’ve been in the morgue three weeks ago. They should’ve been on a slab with a toe tag. Instead, they’re on a three-game heater, smashing through teams like they’re allergic to losing, and the entire city of Miami is once again hooked like we’ve never been burned before.

This is also your daily reminder that the Dolphins are undefeated since firing Chris Grier. 

Miami is 5–7. They have no business being here. Their quarterback is throwing the ball like he’s competing in the Mario Party button mashing mini-game. Their run defense is a suggestion, not a system. Their playoff hopes are one stubbed toe away from a funeral.

And yet…

“We’re a little delusional,” Kenneth Grant said this week.

YES KING.

DELUSION IS BACK IN MIAMI, AND IT TASTES LIKE CUBAN COFFEE AND BAD F**KING DECISIONS.

And honestly?

We’re are right there talking big s**t with them.

THE CULT OF MCDANIEL

Listening to Mike McDaniel talk is like watching a Stanford engineer, a stand-up comedian, and a mad scientist share the same genius f**king brain.

The man is playing 4D chess with vibes, and somehow it works.

Don’t get it twisted because we remember a few of y’all that were on the “Fire McDaniel” campaign trail. We didn’t forget. Since then McDaniel’s been the coach hat we knew him as.

After three straight games under 200 passing yards…THREE.

McDaniel didn’t panic. Didn’t switch quarterbacks. Didn’t call Jeff Bezos for a private-sector miracle.

He just looked at the offense and basically said:

“Run the damn ball.”

Everyone re-introduce yourselves to De’Von Achane.

Because when a team has a running back like Achane, the fastest 191-pound warhead in NFL history, that’s not a suggestion. That’s scripture.

McDaniel said it himself this week:

“What you’re seeing is a guy trying to be great” said mcdaniel.

Brother… great?

He’s trying to be a Category 6 hurricane.

And the offensive line knows it.

“We know if we block one guy for him, he’ll make the other guy miss” said Aaron brewer. 

They kept it simple because it is, that’s the whole Dolphins offense right now, and it’s f**king glorious.

Block one.

Pray.

Let Achane cook.

And speaking of Achane…

AFC OFFENSIVE PLAYER OF THE MONTH & The FATHER OF THE AFC EAST

The NFL had to stop everything on Thursday to acknowledge reality:

DE’VON ACHANE — AFC OFFENSIVE PLAYER OF THE MONTH.

Not “good game.”

Not “solid stretch.”

Not a fluke.

NFL PLAYER. OF. THE. F**KING MONTH.

It’s been amazing what Achane’s been able to accomplish in this month alone and thank God he has because the Dolphins might’ve been lost without him. Not might’ve, excuse me, we would’ve been lost as Zoro hopping off a ship, lost. 495 rushing yards. 630 yards from scrimmage. Three straight 100-yard games. 7.9 yards per carry against Buffalo. 120 yards in Madrid. 134 more against the Saints.

1,000+ yards in only 12 games,  joining Csonka, Delvin Williams, and Ricky F**king Williams.

Tua said it best after practice:

“It looks like a negative-two loss, then he makes it an eight-yard gain.”

That’s not running back behavior. That’s witchcraft.

He led the entire league in rushing in November.

He became the first Dolphin since Reggie Bush to hit three straight 100-yard games.

He’s third in the NFL in rushing and averaging 5.6 a carry.

Achane isn’t playing football.

He’s doing parkour through defensive trauma.

THE DEFENSE IS DELUSIONAL, HALF RELIGIOUS, HALF VIOLENT & BRADLEY CHUBB IS THAT DUDE

Kenneth Grant admitted it.

Jordyn Brooks hits like he’s collecting debts.

Minkah Fitzpatrick is playing every position except concession stand cashier.

And Bradley Chubb?

Bradley Chubb is the heart, spine, and moral backbone of this whole damn operation.

The NFL just named him the Dolphins’ 2025 Walter Payton Man of the Year nominee, and honestly? It fits perfectly. The man has been everywhere, in the community, in the schools, in the hospitals, in the Boys & Girls Clubs, changing lives while also leading the team in sacks.

11 sacks last fully healthy season.

Forced fumbles for days.

A leader since Denver.

A captain.

A presence.

Mike McDaniel said it best:

“He understands the weight of his platform… he leads with humility and service.”

That’s not just football praise — that’s legacy talk.

Miami has a defense full of maniacs, but Chubb is the grown man in the room making sure all that chaos points in the right direction.

And you feel his fingerprints on this whole run.

THE JETS GAME IS WHERE THE MOVIE GETS GOOD

Jets fans… I’m going to be honest with you.

This is a terrible time to play Miami.

The Dolphins are walking into New Jersey like a group project where everyone finally locked in at 3AM the night before it’s due.

They’re stupid. They’re confident. They’re spiritually unstable and better yet they’re convinced they belong in the playoffs.

And that’s the most dangerous possible version of them.

Miami is one win away from turning this from a “cute little delusion story” to a “holy sh*t they might actually do this again” story.

Vegas knows it, Miami is favored by 2.5 on the road.

The Jets know it, the film doesn’t lie.

The Dolphins know it, the locker room smells like belief.

Miami shouldn’t be alive. They shouldn’t be in this race. They shouldn’t be allowed to keep doing this to my heart.

And yet…

Here we are.

Delusional.

Hopeful.

Insane.

Beautiful.

Just like the Miami Dolphins.