Anthony weaver is IN THE SOLUTION BUSINESS

The Miami Dolphins run defense is best described as Cam Ward’s poignant words “we ass.”

Miami’s defense gave up, and I kid you not, 200 yards on the ground f**king ground last week to Rico Dowdle. I nearly threw my Heineken at the screen watching the Dolphins run defense get gashed like that.

Last week — and if you’ve been near Dolphins Twitter since then, it’s looked like a Category 5 meltdown with memes, trade machines, and enough overreactions to crash a Reddit server.

But oh no, not for Anthony Weaver.

Weaver, please have a plan to change this defense and turn this season around.

While fans are throwing tablets, pointing fingers, and threatening to call Brian Flores out of retirement, the Dolphins’ defensive coordinator is sitting in a dark film room sipping water like a scientist in a disaster movie.

“I TRY NOT TO DO ANYTHING IN ANGER AND FRUSTRATION. I’M IN THE SOLUTION BUSINESS.”

That’s the quote, and hopefully it permeates into the culture of the Dolphins defense. That’s literally the kind of coach you want calling plays when things get ugly.

Because let’s be real — right now, it’s ugly. Ugly like a blob fish out of water.

LAST IN THE LEAGUE — BUT NOT LAST IN HOPE?

To no one’s surprise right now, the Miami Dolphins defense is currently ranked dead last in the NFL. Forget about championship contender, right now we’re competing for the No. 1 pick in the draft.

But Weaver isn’t in denial with how bad this defense is playing, instead he’s decoding numbers to try and help.

“YOU HAVE 30 RUNS, AND FOUR OF THEM GO FOR 140. EVERYTHING YOU’RE DOING ISN’T WRONG… THOSE SHOULD GO FOR EIGHT OR NINE. THAT’S A TRUST, FIT, AND TACKLING PROBLEM.”

Let’s break that down, and read this twice if you have to 140 of the 200 rushing yards came on just four plays. I actually want to write that again, 140 of 200 rushing yards came on four f**king plays. That means the other 26 rushes only gave up 60 yards total.

That’s not a scheme problem — that’s a discipline lapse.

That’s linebackers getting out of position. That’s rookies trying to do too much. That’s trying to be perfect instead of being in sync.

THE PSYCHOLOGIST IN PADS

It’s crazy because not only does Weaver have to coach the defense but he’s also got to become a damn psychologist or therapist. Or whichever type of mental health counselor that has to address defensive lapses in run schemes.

This season already Weaver’s already had to start calling out younger players like Kenneth Grant. They want to be great so badly that they’re overthinking every snap. Overcorrecting. And instead of flying to the ball, they’re freezing in analysis mode.

“YOU WOULDN’T THINK YOU’D HAVE TO TEACH THAT… BUT WHEN YOU HAVE GUYS THAT ARE THIS WELL‑INTENTIONED, YOU DON’T WANT TO COACH THEM INTO PARALYSIS.”

You read that quote right there? That’s the difference between screaming and rewiring.

Weaver’s not breaking players down — he’s building better instincts. That takes time, reps, and a whole lot of trust.

Let’s not forget — Anthony Weaver isn’t just some PowerPoint coach who climbed the ladder by networking.

He played in the league. He played alongside Ray Lewis, one of the most terrifying and technically disciplined defenders in NFL history.

For a player on the Dolphins defense, it’s simple, when Weaver talks about what it means to create a defense that plays free but smart, shut the f**k up and listen.

STAY CENTERED & STAY FOCUSED

The biggest question is what happens next for Miami?

Weaver’s not out here demanding new personnel or throwing shade at his own front seven. He’s diagnosing the issue like a surgeon who knows the operation will take a few more quarters before the patient’s fully recovered.

And look — the AFC isn’t going to wait. If Miami wants to be a real postseason threat, this defense has to catch up with its offense.

But the attitude from the DC matters, and right now Weaver’s energy is exactly what this team needs:

No excuses.

No finger-pointing.

Just solutions.

Anthony Weaver gets it. He knows how fast this league can humble you. There’s plenty of talent. They just need the mental reset — and Weaver’s the right one to push it.