FORMER miami MARLINS DRAFT PICK GOES FULL GTA IN WASHINGTON STATE CAPITOL

Look, we’ve all had a bad day. But Gunnar Schubert? My man had a Grand Theft Auto side mission, and turned into f**king “Florida Man.”

Bro, like what the flying fuck was Schubert even doing? And why the fuck did he think this was an appropriate thing to do?

At this point I can’t tell you if this is embarrassment, or pride that I have for this former Miami Marlins MLB draft pick. Yes, Miami Marlins, baseball. Gunnar decided after he was done with batting averages and rooting for the home team that he would go all out as a Constitution Crasher.

According to reports, Gunnar broke into the actual f**king Washington State Capitol building. I mean what is this man doing? Gunnar decided to do this at night with hammers and try and set the place on fire. Bro what are you doing?

Nevertheless, flags? They got burned.

George Washington’s head? Knocked clean off.

Martin Luther King Jr.’s bust? Scratched.

Original carpet from 1928? Toast.

Piano? Smashed.

Bro didn’t just crashout. He had a historically themed WWE match with the entire Capitol building.

Now, here’s where it gets even more Florida, so let’s give more context.

Gunnar was drafted in 2018 by the Marlins, bounced around the minors, then apparently went full “LinkedIn journeyman ironworker energy” and started spiraling into mental health chaos.

The man pulled up to the Capitol, parked on a flower bed (on some straight savage s**t), crawled in through a window (Spider-Man vibes), and then made that place look like a Call of Duty lobby post-airstrike.

And just when you think it couldn’t get weirder — the man had Bon Jovi’s “Wanted Dead or Alive” playing in the background of his Facebook posts while wearing a Marlins jersey (read that again, I did not make this up).

You can’t script this.

It’s sad, yes. It’s also absurd.

A Marlins prospect turned hammer-wielding Capitol crasher.

Forget ERA.

We need to talk about WTF.