Rick Ross Says Jaylen Brown’s Fade Is a War Crime

RICK ROSS CALLS OUT JAYLEN BROWN’S BARBER — “STOP THE MADNESS!”

Only in 2025 can a Grammy-nominated rapper and an NBA All-Star end up in a full-blown beef over hair dye.

Rick Ross hopped on the mic this week with a message for Celtics forward Jaylen Brown — and honestly, it might be one of the funniest public service announcements we’ve ever seen.

“Hey yo, this is Jaylen Brown. Yo, it’s time to end the madness. Whoever your barber is, tell them to stop. Chill with the hair follicles. It’s like a jar and he’s spraying like hair from another human on there. But you playing ball, my n***a. That’s causing trauma. It’s time to stop the madness.”

Rozay wasn’t done either. He even proposed a business plan:

“Me and you, Jaylen — we could do a dye company. Let’s create a company, dye company, and just give it to the streets. They need it.”

That’s a real quote. Rick Ross wants to co-found a hair-dye company with Jaylen Brown. We’ve officially entered the multiverse of madness — sponsored by Bigen.

THE BIGEN BACKSTORY

For those blissfully unaware, Ross is talking about Bigen, the famous men’s hair dye that’s been quietly holding barbershops together for decades. It’s the secret weapon behind every “just-lined-up” beard you’ve ever envied — the blacker-than-black finish that laughs in the face of Father Time.

But according to Ross? Jaylen’s been leaning too hard on it. Too much spray, too much pigment, too much shine. The man’s playing defense and leaving streaks on the court.

This is what happens when your hairline has more layers than your mixtape.

If Bigen had a PR department with a sense of humor, this would be their moment. The company’s actual marketing copy reads like it was written for this exact scandal:

“We’ve honored our roots in pharmaceutical expertise for over 100 years… giving people color that is both rich and gentle.”

You can practically hear them whispering, “Please don’t drag us into Celtics Twitter, Rick.”

They even have a product called EZ Color for Men that promises “authentic, not artificial” results. So maybe that’s the fix. Maybe what Jaylen needs isn’t a fade — it’s a rebrand.

THE NBA BARBER CIVIL WAR

Barbers everywhere are taking sides. Some say Jaylen’s just embracing the dark arts of Bigen like every vet who’s been “29 years old” for the last five seasons. Others say it’s time to go natural — no more spray-ons, no more shoe-polish fades, no more crimes against follicles.

But if Rick Ross is offering to start a hair-dye empire with you?
You at least take the meeting.

This is why the NBA is the best league on Earth.

No other sport gives you millionaire athletes, billionaire rappers, and heated debates about synthetic pigment density.

Somewhere, Jordan’s watching this like, “See, that’s why I went bald with dignity.”

Until Jaylen and Ross drop their collab line, the rest of us will just sit back, fade up, and remember:

Stop the madness. Respect your follicles.